Me Log: Fey Port and the Pointy Eared Devils

26 Days out from Mad Wizard Isle ashore in Fey Port

Well Dagon is a right sage. I no sooner staggered into the hold, that Murgosis and I share, when I am confronted by me bovine-headed-gallant. He hurls me on to our berth and for a wee moment I'm all excited like as it runs through my head that I never ha' seen me Bull o' Amen Ra in full rut. I still have not seen it. Me bunk mate is neigh interested in a set to, oh no, he begins to poke and prod' about me bread basket with his great heathen paws.

"Oy," says I, "Sheer off! Leave off pokin' me! Here, that tickles you great cow." I made to heave him off but ye'ld need a lever and Demigod a plyin' it to move me Murgosis when he is bent on a task. "What are ye playin' at ye great hairy gob?"

"You are unclean." Says he and sets to proddin' on me belly again.

"I never am," says I all indignant,"I had me a bath not a fortnight agone. 'Sides thats never been a sticking point with you afore. What are ye about?"

"Ye may have eggs in you woman!"

"Aye, I might but if ye keep stabbin' at me so they will be all cracked and will never have no horn headed little lads and lasses."

"No, you do not understand, the pointy eared slaves will have forced them into your thorax."

"Ye'ld, think I might have noticed had they done. No one's laid no eggs in my Thor hatch. Leave off your proddin' now afore I prod you and see how you like it."

"Ah, it is alright you have not been perforated."

"Actually, I think I ha' been now. You gave me a right poke in me tummy, ye brute ye. I done told ye they ha' no put anything within me. Ha' ye gone deaf of a sudden?"

"Jenna, you are to trusting. This Laina is a vile barnacle who clung to great Osiris' chariot as it rolled through the underworld. She is an elf, a slave and a sharp eared liar. She intends great evil for you. Attend me as I speak she is darkness incarnate. She would not have invaded you when you traded for cloth. She would have attacked you when you had drunk too much wine and could not stop her. She is cunning. She is an elf slave."

"Wee pretty Laina, who done helped me tyre meself all this long day? Wee pretty Laina who puts more store by shoes than people? Wee pretty Laina whose a searchin' so hard after her brother she bare thinks of anythin' else in this whole world than the findin' of him? Is it that Laina you are going on about? " I stared up at him all fierce and all and I am about to lay in another broadside, when it hits me about the eggs and the drinkin'. "Why ye rag brained excuse for a steak and a pair of shoes, did ye think that Laina was set to get me soused and put her eggs in me, her eggs in me?!? She's a lady elf ye rawhide in waitin'! A lady elf! And I am a lass me ownself. I know naught of thy lands of sand but round here a lass o' my stamp does not exchange her eggs with other lasses." I paused for breath here as I looked into those great brown eyes a' me Murgosis and that's what undone me. I should have shut me trap and ended right there, but oh no, I had to lay just one more yard a cable. "'Sides I wasna' with Laina a drinkin' I was with that new hand, the pretty one, what we picked up from Zhaki."